this was the first photo i saw of cam.
i was sitting just a few feet away when this was taken.
totally worth waking up at like 4am.
“Camille, watching her mother”
Copyright © 2012, Fox Harvard, All Rights Reserved
absolute fucking favorite portrait of me ever. period.
one of my favorite portraits of Cam ever. period.
I’ve never been a clothed model. Nor am I likely to ever be one. Being a nude model, I often get asked about my motivations and the way I feel being naked in front of people whom I have only just met. I can understand these questions; I guess it’s the kind of thing that I might be curious about if I had never been in my position.
But one question that I can never quite comprehend is that of whether I feel that it is morally acceptable to model in the nude. I suppose the reason for my lack of comprehension is that morality is a relative concept and my personal conscience does not dictate to me that nudity is wrong or sinful, and so I find it difficult to understand people who have that particular view. I’m not talking here about the more erotic work that I do; even with a liberal mind, I can completely understand those who view that kind of work as somehow objectionable. I’m talking about straight laced, non complicated ‘art nude’, whatever that might be. Work that is about shape and light and beauty.But for some people, it represents a woman who is willing to take her clothes off for the world to see and that cannot be justified.
When I first started modelling, I was sitting nude for art classes, painters and sculptors. I was also a music teacher in a secondary school. The whole question of whether what I was doing was right or wrong was constantly on my mind. More so when I started to work with photographers, even though throughout the duration of my teaching days, I wouldn’t so much as hint at sexuality or eroticism in the work that I was doing. Certainly not intentionally, anyhow. It would have been my worst nightmare for one of my student’s parents to see one of my photos or astronomically worse for one of my students to see it. I know that children and adult nudity do not mix. I am not an idiot. Nor am I a paedophile. But the tension between what I was doing outside of school hours and my work sometimes felt overwhelming, even though I viewed them as entirely seperate parts of my life. When I was at school, I never thought about modelling, and when I was modelling I never thought about school. I did not feel like I was a bad person, in that I was not promoting anything inherently bad or wrong. I was merely using my body to create arty things.
I don’t want to turn this post into whether or not it is right or wrong to model whilst teaching, but rather to write about my feelings on nudity in general and how it is viewed by the general public. I have been questioned by friends, family and people from various religions (alright…actually just Christians but let’s not get onto that…) about the issue of exposing my body and how my conscience deals with it. I view the naked body not only as something that is universally beautiful, regardless of weight, age, colour of skin and so on, but also something that represents one of the most natural states that we can be in. Now I’m no hippy and I actually can’t even stand getting undressed in the gym changing room unless I’m in a cubicle. I also certainly don’t proudly march through the woods in nothing but my trainers like an avid naturist might. I do however firmly believe that we have no reason whatsoever to hide our bodies on ethical grounds. I think that largely it is what we associate nudity with in our culture that causes the inherent fear or discomfort that a lot of people experience when confronted with an image of the naked body.
“There are many well regarded art pieces and sculptures that depict the unclothed human form. In fact, there is nothing wrong with the natural human form. The human body is a beautiful thing that has been the subject of many paintings, poems and songs through time. However, because of its association with the sexual act, and with pornographic content in particular, our current morality is to be ashamed of nudity, and to view it as being incorrect conduct”
- Haime, Aya ‘Are Computers Dictating Our Ethics and Morality?
In the bible, Adam and Eve were punished for covering their bodies, now I am questioned reasonably frequently for uncovering mine.
I hope sincerely that some day our culture can embrace nudity and that people can stop being afraid of it. Until then, I intend fully on continuing to use my body in the images that I help to create. Our naked bodies are not something to be ashamed of, but instead something to be celebrated. They are as unique and interesting as our faces and their diversity is one of the things that makes them so utterly beautiful.
That’s what I think, anyway.
A x
THIS PHOTO. <3
best smile, realest laugh. i can just tell.
(Source: mjukhet, via spiritguide)
“I feel my own blood thundering inside of me, I feel the horror of falling into abysms. But you and I would always fall together and I would not be afraid… I will find you everywhere. You alone can go wherever I go, into the same mysterious regions. You too know the language of the nerves. You will always know what I am saying even if I do not.” — Anaïs Nin, Je suis le plus malade des Surrealistes: Antonin Artaud (via mertseger)
(Source: frenchtwist, via replicants)
Debbie Harry of Blondie in some killer knit separates.
via sashafrerejones (Originally posted on. heavymetallove9.)
—jessica h.
(via ssun-childd)
It’s Bigger Than “Bath Salts” and “Zombie Apocalypses”
Mention Miami this week and the first thing people will talk about is the “zombie” attack. What they are obviously referring to is the gruesome near-killing of Ronald Poppo by Rudy Eugene, who was shot by the police after virtually devouring 75 percent of Poppo’s face. The Police are blaming it on a synthetic drug called “bath salts,” while the Twitterverse is blaming it on a looming zombie apocalypse. But once you finish with the jokes, look into the lives of both men and dig deeper into the city they call(ed) home, some stuff just stops being funny and starts being sad. Even the “only in Miami” assumptions about the attack fall flat. As I write this, I just got word of another flesh-eating homicide in Maryland.
But the sensationalism and the sick jokes do make sense. It is easier to stock up on supplies and firearms (which Miamians really don’t need any help doing) while preparing for a zombie apocalypse like the ones in the movies (I Am Legend, 28 Days Later, one of those bad M. Night Shyamalan flicks), than it is to really look at what would make a man like Rudy Eugene, who friends have called “funny” and “a really nice guy,” do the things he did to Ronald Poppo, a man who has spent the better part of 30 years homeless (in spite of attending an elite New York high school). It is also easier than admitting that there were plenty of warning signs in Eugene’s life indicating that he needed help. Unfortunately for him, those warning signs went off in a city where the early warning systems and institutions are constantly crumbling.
But this wasn’t the first or last gruesome attack and Miami wasn’t the first and won’t be the last city a gruesome attack takes place in. Many followers of Hip Hop before it went Pop will remember when up-and-coming Cali-based artist Big Lurch was put in prison for a PCP-induced murder of his 21-year-old roommate in 2002. He tore out her insides and apparently devoured them before being arrested walking down the street naked and screaming into the sky. Just last month, a Shrewsbury, Massachusetts man suffering from dementia was involved in a horrific killing/cannibalization of his wife. If we step away from the gory and sensational and just talk about the disturbing, we can find a weekly story of a domestic violence-related homicide or a foreclosure-induced murder/suicide of an entire family. Similarly, once we step away from the “zombie” meme, look at what caused these other attacks and compare it to Eugene’s near-killing of Poppo, we start to see a lot of similarities.
Yes, Eugene’s friends and family have very little bad to say about him, but he also allegedly threatened to kill his mother during a 2004 domestic incident in her house. Even though he worked at a carwash and wanted to start his own business, he may have also lost his home to foreclosure in 2011. His girlfriend of six years called him a sweet and well-mannered man with no history of violence and who rarely left home without a bible in his hand, but his ex-wife says she left him because he became increasingly violent toward her. His friends found him funny and religious but claimed that he had recently been “battling a devil.” And even though he wasn’t known to have a history of serious drug use, he was known to smoke marijuana a lot and was trying to stop. Although the speculative public, police and message boards have yet to see a toxicology report, there are too many similarities between Eugene’s flesh eating attack on Poppo and other drug-induced homicides like the one Big Lurch had perpetrated in 2002 to rule out that Eugene my have been on drugs that day.
Nevertheless, it is still hard for almost anyone to believe that Rudy Eugene, a man who told his friends he wanted to get his life right and get “closer to God,” woke up last Saturday and made a conscious decision to maim, kill or devour anyone’s flesh. Which is why it is easier to blame it on bath salts and zombie apocalypses, until you realize that if you are trying to “get your life right” or “battle devils,” Miami has become a hard city to do that in.
On my show on Wednesday, Kamalah Fletcher from Catalyst Miami laid out the declining mental health and substance abuse infrastructure of Miami and Florida as a whole. Just consider that:
-Florida is the second to worst state in the country when it comes to funding mental health services. Of the 325,000 people with persistent and severe mental illness, only 42 percent receive treatment.
-In 2010, the State Legislature cut adult community mental health funding, children’s mental health funding and adult substance abuse services by more than $18 million. This year, the state legislature tried to make Florida the worst state in the nation at funding mental health, and almost succeeded.
-Prescription drug overdoses and the prescription drug death rate are up in Florida by 61 percent and 84 percent respectively. That didn’t stop state politicians from trying to cut funding for drug treatment by 20 percent, which would have kicked 37,000 people out of services while they were trying to kick a habit.
- First responders across the state say that they are seeing mental health cases that they have never seen before, such as a Palm Beach man that was held in custody 50 times in one year under the state’s Baker Act because he was a threat to himself and others.But it is still easier to demand the death penalty for “bath salt” possession than it is to talk about a real need for services. After all, wanting to detect and address early warning signs of potentially destructive behavior makes you a “bleeding heart” liberal. Cracking jokes about bleeding hearts and eaten flesh while doing nothing just makes you normal.
As a trained social worker and former community organizer, I have no illusions that even the best services will stop every destructive act caused by a mental illness or substance abuse problems. I also have no illusions that every penny spent on service agencies will be used wisely. But in a state that paid tens of millions of dollars in welfare money to sports stadiums like the Miami Heat Arena on the condition that they shelter the homeless on off-nights (something they never did), I have more faith that our community mental health centers will help the mentally ill than I do that the Miami Heat will house the homeless.
I also realize that we still don’t have all the details, facts or medical reports to really understand why Rudy Eugene did what he did last Saturday. But if the police can speculate about “bath salts,” and bloggers can speculate about a “zombie apocalypse,” I don’t see why I can’t speculate about a real documented apocalyptic public health crisis in our state.
(via whenuniversescollide)
(Source: soundthat, via filthyfancy)
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“We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.”
― Milan Kundera
” — (via iammyownwoman)
(Source: vocesycaos, via dementes)
Few reasons to buy extra cookies from Girl Scouts.
these are like… my five favorite reasons to support the Girl Scouts. i don’t even care about their cookies.
(via thearaxie)
i don’t remember this job offering being discussed with my guidance counselor
(Source: psych-deli, via moontang)
(via redthankyou)
(via ladyduelist)